The Middle

TV premieres are well under way, and this is definitely “Shit my kids watch” (but I do too). I actually like The Middle, again I don’t have to worry about buttholes and boobs or drugs in the 8 o’clock hour. I’m trying to raise nice young ladies for shits sake.
In the season opener Axel is going to college (who knew he could do it!? And the kooky Hecks are going on a road trip of sorts. The college is only 42 minutes (roughly) away but it seems as though it will be a pilgrimage to Mecca by the time they get him there. The normal hijinks of this weird but pretty factional family happen along the way. Sue is trying out or being considered for a peer counseling role, Brick has a cell phone he can’t keep track of and Frankie has of course forgot something very important to one of the kids. Let me stop myself by explaining why I like The Middle. I feel they are a normal representation of a family on TV. They don’t have granite counter tops, fancy window or window treatments, they don’t even have all working components in their kitchen. I like that Frankie is tired or too lazy to cook so Subway is a meal sometimes. I like that their cups don’t match and their carpet looks dirty. It feels real. If I want opulence of fakery I’ll watch Real Housewives or the whitest people you will ever see on HGTV. (Or I can glance on Facebook and check out everyone and their perfect lives on there as well and Jesus Christ bananas who needs to post about your lunch salad?!).
I digress. They have to make many pit stops along the way to Axel’s college and when they get there I feel what Frankie feels. Depression and anxiety. My kids aren’t anywhere near going to college yet but as any parent knows time moves really fucking fast. I feel like my teenager and tweenager were just born. But they are going on 25 and leaving me behind.
Axel arrives at his dorm room 500 hours after he left home, and he is loving the whole vibe of it. Mike is like many dads and is unaffected and shows little to no emotion. Brick is in his own strange world, and Sue is obsessed with getting the position that sounds made up. A side note about Sue. She is a super dork in many definitions but I love her. She is a great student, and has this positive attitude I wish many teens and even adults could adopt. She always turns a negative situation into something she can work with. She has perfected things not be perfect but “workable”. Kudos to her!
I LOL-ed when Axel’s roommate “Kenny” is brought on screen. We don’t see his face but we see his mashed up gnarly hair in perhaps a smelly bathrobe? He is a gamer glued to his PC monitor (I assume not a Mac, I’m not a weirdo computer pussy geek so I don’t know). He looks like he could smell like a queef, but its likely its more bologna and silverfish.
Axel heads for the hills when he hears of a party down the hall and Frankie is left like most mothers feeling abandoned and this has all happened to quickly. She wanted to give him sage advice (but lets be honest Frankie’s advice might be that of Sweet Brown and Axel ain’t got time for that). She gives her advice to “Kenny” who is still glued (and I’m hoping its NOT semen) to his computer.
I look forward to this show with my kids as I can do the dishes, laundry, read a book or paint my nails and not worry I’m missing something deep or trippy. My house is cleaner than theirs so I always go to bed feeling a little bit better even as I stare up at my ceiling fan covered in a protective layer of dust. I’m right in The Middle.

  • Joe

    I like this show, Axel is by far the star. That dude is going places, as long as he can avoid child star syndrome.

  • noman

    I don’t watch this on the reg but it makes me laugh when I do.

    And on a more intimate note, my and Shelly’s bedroom ceiling fans match.