Joel’s Daily-12/12/13


-Told you guys.  I watch a lot of game shows.  I’m a sucker for people winning stuff.  I think I could win this shit with a quick buzzer thumb.

-TV Bars & Saloons?  At least challenge me here, Trebek.  Swept that one.

-I usually slay at the wordplay categories and quotation ones, too

-Thank god for TV bars, because I was half assing it for the rest of round 1.

-Good thing for “Dark” Movies, because I’ve forgotten almost everything about McCarthyism.

-Good thing I know a whole lot about animals.  They fascinate me.  I made decent money this episode.

-Final Jeopardy: 21st Century Novels.  Gahhh, I bid $0.  I spent all my time on 18th, 19th and 20th Century novels.  Damn you, English Lit classes.

-The Life Of Pi?  Dammit, I haven’t even seen the movie.  At least they all got it wrong, too.



-Yes, I hate-watch TMZ.  Mainly because I write for a tv blog and like to keep up on celebrity gossip.  I’m a girl like that. But I hate everyone in that room.  If I could drop a grenade on Harvey Levin’s head and into the middle of that room, taking out all those ignorant fuckers, I’d feel bad for like, a minute.

-They ask the worst questions to people.  They interrupt Jeffrey Ross’ lunch to ask him about Family Guy killing off Brian.  Uggh.  Also, spoiler.

-Paris Hilton claims she made zero dollars from her sex tape.  Well, that’s 100% bullshit.

-Then the black guy in the room talks about going to NASCAR races and someone else says “How many times do you hear ‘Oh, there’s the guy’” followed by uproarious laughter.  I hate these people.

-Is Mila Kunis pregnant?  Man, fuck Ashton Kutcher.

-Kanye West is telling people to boycott Louis Vuitton because they wouldn’t meet with him.  Katt Williams thinks this is an egregious waste of his pull.  Yeah, this is the show I’m watching.


12/10-Craig Furguson-CBS

-I love Craig Ferguson so much, you guys.  No cue cards, no notes.  Just a funny Scotsman goofing around for an hour having natural organic conversation be it with the celebrity guests or his robot sidekick, Geoff or his cocaine fueled horse friend, Secretariat.  You really just need to see the show to understand any of that.

-Craig is nominated for a Grammy, but he’d rather not be.  “No one cares if you’re not nominated.  People are going to care if I lose to Bob Saget!”

-Geoff bragging to Craig that he was number 14 in TV Guide’s top 50 TV robots.  The pressure is on for that Grammy, Craig!

-Demi Lovato is hot in that loopy kind of drunk girl way.  Not many people can pull that off.

-Demi’s hair is NY Giants blue this evening and that turns me on.

-Now Demi’s giving Craig shit because she’s never been nominated for a Grammy.  Well, You ARE Demi Lovato.  I don’t think 80% of anyone who has been on a NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC CD should be in Grammy contention.

-Now they’re talking about tattoos.  Demi has a cute smoker’s laugh.  I am becoming increasingly attracted to her.

-I kinda groaned when Louie Anderson came out, but I gotta admit.  I laughed at most of his stuff.  Not as hard as I laughed when he was on Splash!  But good job, big guy.

-Comedians and Minnesotans are the friendliest people.  The more you know.


12/08-The Price Is Right-CBS

-As god is my witness, you will not escape game shows in The Daily.  The hospital reinvigorated my love of them.  That’s what happens when you have 18 channels.

-I hate when people have no idea what they’re doing.  Like when someone bids 700 and the next bidder bids 699.  What the fuck are you doing?!

-Tatted up bro wins a motor scooter.  At least he’ll use it.  I saw a grandma from Florida the other day win a snowmobile.  That’s my favorite.  when the prize doesn’t match the contestant at all.  They all just want cash anyway.  How much of this shit shows up on ebay?  I’m guessing a ton of it.

-A housewife did horribly and lost an SUV.  How do you think an ipod nano still costs 200 dollars plus.  Cmon, lady.

-Bids of 1499, 1500, 1501 and 1502.  haha, you assholes.

-A hippie from Illinois loses because she thinks a washer/dryer costs a billion dollars, apparently.

-Showcase Showdown time!  I’m rooting for the housewife.  the ipod did her wrong.  And she makes it.  with an 80.  You rarely make it to the showcase with an 80.  90-1.00 usually does the job.

-The requisite bouncy college girl wins a pool table, accessories, a fridge and a computer.  Not too shabby at all.  Not rooting for her now.

-The requisite 90 year old lady is up to play the range game and hits the button nearly immediately.  Yo idiot, the price is always in the middle SOMEWHERE.  Not right at the bottom.  Fucking tourist.  Hope you’ve got a hell of a wheel spin in you, grandma.  Not rooting for you, either.

-Big black dudes -01 strategy finally pays off in the end and then he has to play 10 chances, one of the hardest car games on TPIR.  He didn’t even come close, only winning the second prize, some cameras, on his tenth chance.  Fuck these impossible car games.  Rooting for this dude in the showdown.

-Showcase Showdown part deux! Go, big black bro! Drew offered to help the 90 year old spin the wheel.  She was too proud for that and fell down and hurt herself and the wheel barely went halfway.  Dammit.

-Big Black wins it with a 90.  Good showcase coming up.  These fools haven’t won shit yet.  That’s the way I like my showcases.  I don’t like it when some frat bro comes on and wins two cars and three vacations.

-Ohhhhhhhh, shit.  Big Black overbid by FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS!  I have never seen that shit.  Five bucks less and we have a perfect bid and a double showcase winner.  But the housewife won a trip to Vegas, Venice and a sailboat.

-I would place the over/under at about 15% of TPIR sailboat winners who’ve ever actually utilized their sailboat.  The fuck am I gonna do with a sailboat?

-See you later!

  • noman

    This is my favorite Daily….you wrote it with a smile and made me smile.

  • Shelly

    I <3 Jeopardy haaa I'm a nerd. Thanks Joel :)