Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Time: 3:54-4:54PM

Channel: 136(G4)

Currently Airing: LOST

-Meh, I’m not the biggest LOST fan on the planet, but the wheel has been much crueler

-Too bad it’s about over, because it’s at least a Ben-centric episode and he was one of the more interesting characters

-Episode ends with Ben telling Charles Widmore that he’s going to kill his daughter.  But first he needs to go back and find the island.  Or will Charles find it first?!  “I guess the race is on for the both of us” This is a silly ass show.

Currently Airing: Another episode of LOST

-I kinda figured.  That’s what G4 is these days.  Whatever is airing at the time you flip there, chances are extremely high you’re about to get more of it.

-Episode begins with Jack very ill and giving a pep talk to his people(who don’t trust Faraday and the redheaded girl, can’t remember her name) as he collapses in the middle of it.  Fuck, A Jack-centric episode?  Why couldn’t I have caught the tail end of this one?

-In the flash forward, Jack and Kate are totes banging.  Meat wallets, nice.


-Faraday, you’ll always be poor, tragic Dickie Bennett to me.  Now mess your hair up more!

-D’aww, Jack is reading Aaron a bedtime story.  Why do they have Aaron again?  I forgot so much about this show.  Didn’t Claire end up as some rugged survivorwoman on the island?

-Back at the island, Sawyer, Claire and Miles are walking around when Miles starts hearing voices and stops and starts to dig and finds the French woman and some other guy buried there.  “I didn’t sign up for this, man!” I really didn’t care for this show, but the writing about it for comedy purposes is delightful.

-Juliet and Kate are bickering over taking care of a sick Jack, because damsels. Juliet diagnoses that his appendix is going to have to come out.  Island surgery, YES!

-Sawyer plays papa bear when he catches Miles checking out a breastfeeding Claire.  That’s Charlie’s girl, mate!  Wait, Charlie’s dead at this point.  Don’t be a cockblock, Sawyer.

-Jack insists to be awake during the procedure so that he can assist, with Kate there to hold a mirror.  Oh, Jack is such a wiener.

-Back to the future! Jack gets called to the nuthouse because Hurley refuses to take his meds.  When Jack asks the therapist why the sessions aren’t going well, his response is “because he doesn’t think I exist” haha, this fucking show, man.

-Hurley’s been getting visits from Charlie, you know, DEAD Charlie.  He gave Hurley a message to pass along to Jack “You’re not supposed to be raising him” Jack takes offense to this and tells him to just shut the fuck up and take his meds.  Before he leaves, Hurley tells him that he’ll be getting a visit from someone too.  Soon.   Ooooooh, how ominous.

-Kate reassures Jack that he’s doing a great job raising Aaron and then he proposes to her.  He just…kinda does it.  No romance or anything.  Jack is such a wiener.

-There are ads for exercise equipment during every commercial break.  You are sorely missing your target demo.  It is not people binge watching LOST on a Thursday afternoon.

-So Jack is just having lytacaine(sp?) applied to the area.  They put that stuff on my foot to numb it before digging around and it still hurts like a mother.  Fuck that shit, Jack.  THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!

-haha, Jack starts screaming almost immediately and Juliet yells at Kate to get the fuck outta there and tells Bernard to knock him out, which he promptly does with a rag of chloroform.  Way to be, Bernard.  Quick thinking.

-Claire, Miles and Sawyer are all sleeping around a fire when she awakens in a panic because Aaron isn’t there, but then she sees an older gentleman rocking him back and forth “Dad?!” Oh, good grief.  LOST, you guys.  If this article is hard to follow, imagine watching all six seasons of this nonsense.

-Welp, that’s about enough of that shit.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already joined in progress.

  • noman

    I thought that I was the only person to think that Lost was the dumbest show ever.