DVR Demon is a column in which I run you through all the bullshit that happened to escape my DVR on any given day. I’m hardly ever current on any shows, so who knows what the fuck you’ll find in here.
Also, if you’re a dildo about spoilers, tread lightly
Interior Therapy With Jeff Lewis S2E7 “Goth No More” I’ve been watching so much Bravo that I’m pretty sure my wiener is about to shrivel up and die. Tonight’s couple are Christian and Jessica and to say her taste is creepy as balls would be an understatement. There was a naked mannequin in there with a horse’s head that is probably going to give me night terrors now. There are creepy little dolls everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And I don’t mean creepy like a normal creepy doll. I mean altered to look maximum creepy. Do you remember Toy Story and that kid who put the bald doll head with the spider legs on it? Shit like that, everywhere. hahaha, Jeff asks “Do you have trouble performing sexually in this house? Because there’s no way!” Basically, it’s as if Hot Topic threw up all over their house.
As will happen on this show, Christian is coming off as the submissive male to Jessica’s dominant female. He goes to the bar every night before coming home just to have a beer without having to look at this freakshow. Ladies, it isn’t fucking hard. All we want at the end of the day is a cold beer and a football game. It’s pretty hard to accomplish that if you’re living in a fucking haunted house. Let the man have a beer in peace!
Zolia, Jeff’s maid usually comes in on these jobs to help out and clean and she is telling him no. she is super freaked out. “Deez tings, Jeffery, Zey look-a like-a monstars.” Jeff decides he’s going to take on the living room, which good for him, because it’s pretty horrid. Jessica is super apprehensive about this because she knows that means a lot of this awful shit is going in the trash. She’s having mini panic attacks about every item. the horse head mannequin gets trashed, thank the lord. “Hand me the black Christmas Tree” “But that’s our Christmas tree!” “Get a real one this year.” Jessica is weeping and Christian is smiling ear to ear as they demolish her room. I love it. I always find myself rooting for the guys on this show, not because I’m a chauvinist but because with this particular program, 9/10 times the story is about the women that have turned their domain into wonderland. It’s no wonder the guy stops by the bar to get a buzz on before walking into this nightmare every day. I’m not even going to go into the little convo they had about her cutting and self mutilation because we all have our issues and who am I to judge? Lord knows I’ve got my own. but I hope this is therapeutic and can help her.
The big reveal comes, and as happens 100% of the time on this show, they love it and are overwhelmed. She still has plenty of her shitty, creepy artwork on display While he gets a pretty big living space with which to watch the game and chug a beer in, even if he’s still surrounded by clowns with bleeding eyes.. Right on, brother. Lets hear it for small victories.
Quote of the episode “He won’t confront you because it’s not worth it for him to fight you for thirty minutes about a dinosaur with a doll’s head!”
DVR Demon. I watched this shit. Now you don’t have to.