Wednesday, September 25th, 2013
Time: 12:13-1:13 PM
Channel: 560(HBO Zone)
Currently Airing: Sunset Strip:
-Hey, a movie channel. Too bad I have no earthly idea what this is.
-A dude who looks like Vinny Chase is having a smoke in a blackroom looking at pictures of a girl and wrote a note saying “Can’t speak my mind. Took these instead” and stuffed em in an envelope. This is going to be a boring ass wheel of TV
-Now we’re in a nightclub circa the 70s(?) with drugs abound and the band was just introduced. Naked Snake. Heh, like a dick. I get it. I get it, Sunset Strip.
-haha, I think that’s the Mentalist.
-I think the lead singer of Naked snake is Yellow Bastard aka the worst John Connor. So yeah, The Mentalist and Yellow Bastard are in this.
-The crowd turned on Naked Snake pretty hard, throwing their drinks at them. They were booed off the stage. Even the Shitty Beatles did better than that. I wish this was Wayne’s World, but alas, it it not.
-Adam Goldberg with an afro bigger than Questlove’s and Jared Leto as a Christ looking musician in a cowboy hat? What is this movie? Fasten your seatbelt because we’re about to trip balls.
-Goldberg takes to the urinals to do some blow and take a piss. Vinny Chase guy(Vin from here on out) is in there, too, and when Goldberg says he has an interesting look, Vin starts to piss on him. Goldberg leaves. Where’s that faux bravado you showed in Dazed and Confused, man? “Smells like someone’s smokin some reefer?” Looks like someone learned from their 70s ass beatings.
-The Dazed and Confused parallels don’t end there as this seems to be a flick set over the course of one night following several characters in the 70s throughout varying degrees of highs and lows of the rock and roll world.
-Chloe from 24 is at the afterparty and all the hot groupies are wondering how the fuck she got in. Stupid, mean girls.
-Goldberg is talking to Leto about ditching his redneck buddies and starting a new thing with him called “Metal”. Real fire and brimstone, evil devil shit. Kind of prophetic that four years after this movie was made, I was in attendance watching Leto’s band 30 Seconds To Mars open for Incubus. Not exactly metal, but he’s kind of a big deal musically now.
-Vin and the Mentalist are drowning their sorrows together over losing their lady friends to the rock n roll lifestyle. I think they’re paparazzo, or whatever they were called in those days. I know Vin from somewhere, hold on. it’s bothering me.
-HA! How poetic. He was the burnout from Dazed and Confused “Martha Washington was a hip, hip, hip lady man”
-Awww, Yellow Bastard is alone in a diner eating jello looking super bummed. He thought Naked Snake would be the next Sabbath.
-As he leaves the diner, he hears some dude wailing electric guitar in the alley, so he grabs his own guitar and heads back there to find the busboy going off like Van Halen. They start to rock cock together. fin. Credits roll. And I’ve still got 23 minutes left.
-Hello Ladies looks awesome. I love Stephen Merchant. Maybe they’ve finally found something on par to pair with the hysterical Eastbound and Down. Because Hung was not that thing.
-Ooooh, Rated R with brief nudity and sexual situations? How many of you little pervs sat through total shit movies late at night based on these promises?
-What the fuck, The Campaign? I don’t remember nudity or sex in this.
-But Ferrell and Galifinakis, so score anyway.
-Jason Sudeikis making the Price Is Right Cliffhanger yodel as he describes the poll numbers = Glorious.
-I have a feeling that Galifinakis is going to be one of those guys that will be nominated for an Oscar for something one day and it’ll be weird. Will Smith used to be the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air. Jamie Foxx was nominated for two roles in one year! And he used to be Wanda! It happens.
–Welp, that’s about enough of that shit. I return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already joined in progress.