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	<title>screensnark. &#187; Shelly</title>
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		<title>The Walking Dead &#8220;A&#8221; Season 4 finale</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2014/03/31/walking-dead-season-4-finale/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2014/03/31/walking-dead-season-4-finale/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 31 Mar 2014 19:03:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Snark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Columns]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[terminus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheWalkingDead]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://screensnark.com/?p=1374</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>So for fucks sake. Yes profanity, I&#8217;m using it. I basically bit all my nails off during the season finale. I don&#8217;t usually spoil myself but I was privy to a spoiler (well actually more of a foiler) about 4 days before the season finale. Some of the story lines played out , some were&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/03/31/walking-dead-season-4-finale/">The Walking Dead &#8220;A&#8221; Season 4 finale</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So for fucks sake. Yes profanity, I&#8217;m using it. I basically bit all my nails off during the season finale. I don&#8217;t usually spoil myself but I was privy to a spoiler (well actually more of a foiler) about 4 days before the season finale. Some of the story lines played out , some were ridiculous, and some I&#8217;m glad did not play out. What a fucking doozy and a surprising finale.</p>
<p>The show actually starts out flashback style which many people will have an issue with, and yes I&#8217;d rather have CURRENT action but the flashback gives insight to what is happening NOW. Its also great to see Hershel alive and kicking his one leg. man i miss that man, talk about an epic character. We then flash to Rick all bloodied and looking straight from a brutal fight all by himself in the current timeline leaning against an old Bronco type vehicle. Cue the epic theme song that I have as my ring tone (don&#8217;t judge me).<br />
The (flashback(s) show us that it was Hershel that made Rick go all &#8220;Mayberry&#8221; country bumpkin farmer. Its a subtle touch. You never really understood why Rick wanted to be a pig and bean farmer at the beginning of this season at the prison. I mean it makes logical sense. You will not always be able to hunt deer, rabbits and other wildlife, so if you can grow some produce to supplement your troops,  good for you. But Rick wanted to &#8220;just&#8221; be a farmer as Carol points out in the previous episode &#8220;Indifference&#8221;. Hershel&#8217;s point in these flashbacks is you don&#8217;t have to be all brutality and violence all the time, but the irony here is the Governor is who they were up against and no amount of farming can protect you from that kind of violence and what the world has become. There has to be a happy medium. Violence with farming maybe?</p>
<p>We find our post Zombie Apocalypse modern family Rick, Michonne and Carl on the road to Terminus and it does strike me&#8230;we seem to always be on the road to somewhere. Its hard to watch this show and not cross over zombie lore you know from print, TV, video games and movies. You know in a lot of movies and such that movement is key. I personally think sometimes you do need to hole up somewhere, fortify and protect. But I&#8217;m not a show runner. In the comics; which I have read, a good chunk of the time they are moving, so it makes sense they will always be doing such in the series.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m glad the focus is on these three. We haven&#8217;t had much Rick this last half of the season and he is out hero, love him or hate him (I&#8217;m a woman so I love his skinny ass). You know in the back of your mind Darryl and his knew douche-bag crew are hot on their tail so the tension starts immediately. Carl hears a man crying for help but he is surrounded by a 90&#8242;s style mosh pit of walkers. Jesus. I even say out loud &#8220;you can&#8217;t help him&#8221; and they seem to agree.</p>
<p>They find an old Bronco type of abandoned vehicle and stay for the night. Carl is inside and Rick and Michonne have a fire and a talk and roast up a bunny. I never get why there are NO BUILDINGS anywhere in Georgia? I&#8217;ve been to Georgia and there are indeed buildings. We even have trains where I am from and buildings are all over the place. But not in Georgia. I guess I just think the threat is too great from both psychopaths and walkers to just be doing an Outward Bound style camping trip all the damn time.</p>
<p>And gee, I&#8217;m right. The damn scrubby bunches of oats come along and stick a gun to Rick and Michonne&#8217;s head. Carl is awoken and trapped in the car. This isn&#8217;t going to end well. Joe says Rick made a mistake killing Larry (is that his name?) on the shitter and letting him turn. I don&#8217;t get the loyalty as they killed one of their own last week for stealing a bunny. (Which reminds me Anya from<em> Buffy the Vampire Slayer</em> would be shitting her pants right about now!)</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/200_s.gif"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1397" alt="200_s" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/200_s-300x168.gif" width="300" height="168" /></a></p>
<p>I&#8217;m literally watching from behind a pillow. There is a fat marauder who takes Carl form the Bronco as Darryl emerges from the dark. He tries to explain to Joe these are good people.Darryl even offers himself up if Joe wants an &#8220;eye for eye&#8221; type revenge. Joe decided &#8220;nope&#8221;&#8230; he doesn&#8217;t like any of them and he&#8217;ll kill them all. Two of the Village People kick the shit out of Darryl while Rick and Michonne seem helpless trying to figure out what to do. It is being heavily implied Carl is about to get accosted in a uncomfortable TV land way. This shit is all happening so fast, Mr Shelly is yelling at me to calm down, my dogs are barking! Mass hysteria!!!!</p>
<p>Rick then finally head butts Joe, he drops his gun and all this mish mash shit happens and Rick goes <em>Full Metal Jacket</em> on his ass and bites&#8230;. yes B-I-T-E-S his neck. I kinda knew it was coming from the comics but still its a moment that takes your breath away. (Slow Clap The Walking Dead). Michonne wastes no time and stabs her assailant. Darryl takes care of his. And Then Rick basically filets the chubby soon to be child rapist &#8230; and boom thats it. Shit was real. Shit was crazy. Shit went down.</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/tumblr_n3a4t2zpXK1r2acrxo2_250.gif"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-1398" alt="tumblr_n3a4t2zpXK1r2acrxo2_250" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/tumblr_n3a4t2zpXK1r2acrxo2_250.gif" width="245" height="180" /></a></p>
<p>So now the scene from the beginning where Rick is mangled in Joe blood makes sense. Rick is not fucking around be a pig farmer any more.</p>
<p>Michonne comforting Carl in the Bronco and Darryl and Rick talking. Darryl is feeling guilty for being with these dirt bags and Rick assures him he loves him lke a brother. In fact he says :you&#8217;re my brother&#8221;. Now Mr Shelly is really angry because I&#8217;m shedding tears . This is huge. Daryl lost Merle and Rick being his &#8220;big brother&#8221; is huge.</p>
<p>Okay on with Terminus.</p>
<p>Now Rick and Michonne always seem to have more sense than the rest of the group so they with Darryl and Carl stake out the outskirts of Terminus. It seems quiet. But dammit you know this shit isn&#8217;t a good place. Even if you haven&#8217;t been spoiled, you know this isn&#8217;t<em> Passages in Malibu</em> waiting for you to kick your opioid addiction on a beach. Rick decides to hide the guns in a hole because he doesn&#8217;t know what might happen. Carl and Michonne talk. Michonne is worried that Carl thinks his dad is a monster for what he did back at the Bronco. Michonne  then shares her story of losing her baby Andre. Finding her boyfriend and his friend getting high in a refugee camp and hinting thats the reason Andre got killed as she was on a supply run. It makes sense because she made them her &#8220;pets&#8221; . She is pointing out she might look like a monster too. But Carl re-assures Michonne, he&#8217;s not afraid of Rick and doesn&#8217;t think he is a monster but doesn&#8217;t want to let him down. Carl has some pretty bad thoughts too and is afraid his dad will think<em> he&#8217;s</em> a monster. Okay he&#8217;s a monster, she&#8217;s a monster, I&#8217;m a monster.</p>
<p>Jesus.. there is a lot of stuff happening in this episode. Okay now we enter Terminus. Now they check the place out and scale the fences. They all have weapons except the aforementioned bag of guns and enter what appears to be the back way in. We see a lady on a HAM radio of sorts recording the creep &#8220;Those who arrive survive&#8221; slogan. Dammit!! Why aren&#8217;t our fearless leaders communicating with some long range walkies or HAM radios??!! I&#8217;m not an expert but shit, it should be mentioned! Anyway the place looks like a sewing factory? People are just walking about and they all have a place to be. So then this skinny guy sees them and is taken back but comes off pretty smooth. His name is Gareth ( what kind of g&#8217; damn name is that?) he says they came in the back way but they are still welcome. He asks them to place their weapons down. They of course hesitate but oblige. Some other goofy guys comes to pat them down and then their weapons are returned. Seems legit . (NOT)</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/A_Gareth_Welcome.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1395" alt="A_Gareth_Welcome" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/A_Gareth_Welcome-229x300.png" width="229" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>You must be screaming at your TV like I am..&#8221;Where is Glenn, where is Maggie&#8221;??!! No sign of them anywhere until Rick and company find their way out to Mary with her weirdo Amish side braid cooking up more &#8220;grub&#8221;.</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/TWDMary1.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1396" alt="TWDMary1" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/TWDMary1-300x184.jpg" width="300" height="184" /></a></p>
<p>Rick notices Glenn&#8217;s book-bag, the pocket watch from Hershel, the riot gear from the prison and Maggie&#8217;s hideous poncho! He knows they have his people and he draws his weapon. I cover my eyes again! Now Gareth and his group act like they got these things from people they have found (bullshit) and Rick knows its bullshit. So Rick, Michonne, Carl and Darryl all have their weapons drawn but they are clearly outnumbered. Rick has the goofy one with the gun to his head and he says to Gareth &#8220;we can wait&#8221;. Obviously these creepy ass people have a plan but that Gareth is as cool as a cucumber. He says its obvious that Rick doesn&#8217;t trust them anymore. Then an all out shootout happens. They have snipers on the roof..(why didn&#8217;t they see them when they were checking the place out before!). It becomes clear quickly that they aren&#8217;t trying to actually shoot Rick and his group but &#8220;herd&#8221; them into one spot. Michonne, Rick, Darryl and Carl are running through this maze of crazy train cards and buildings. They run by a pile of rib cages, meat and human spines.</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/terminus-cannibal-skeletons.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1394" alt="terminus-cannibal-skeletons" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/terminus-cannibal-skeletons-300x121.jpg" width="300" height="121" /></a></p>
<p>(ya know the usual)</p>
<p>Also by a train car with people saying &#8220;help&#8221;! (So there are more people prisoner there). They enter a room with weird candles and what seems like hundreds of names on the floor. Also in the style of Morgan there are words painted on the wall &#8220;Never again, never trust, we first always&#8221; That sounds like Lyrics to a Miley Cyrus song? And why all those name son the floor? This is a creepy Hannibal Lechter vibe at an epic proportion.</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/TWD_CREEPY_ROOM_2.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1399" alt="TWD_CREEPY_ROOM_2" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/TWD_CREEPY_ROOM_2-300x187.jpg" width="300" height="187" /></a></p>
<p>Finally They are herded to where Gareth wants them. They are surrounded even on the outside edges of the fence. They must surrender or be shot. Its pretty touch and go. Gareth wants Rick, &#8220;The Ring leader&#8221; , Michonne&#8221; The Samurai&#8221;, and Darryl &#8221; The archer&#8221; to go to the train car (labeled &#8220;A&#8221;). Poor Carl looks like he is about to bite it. I&#8217;m literally about to burst out of my seat. He then tells Carl to follow the them into the train car. I mean its like when you think what you do if you were kidnapped.. you wouldn&#8217;t get into the car, but really what do you do when someone has a gun.. or multiple guns to your head? You comply.</p>
<p>Then in the last seconds of the show we see, Glenn, Maggie, Sgt Abraham Ford, Rosita, Eugene, Drunk Bob and Sasha. But noooo Tyrese, Carol or little ass kicker!???!!! They all look at each other but no hugs? Its weird but yet a relief, but yet not! rick utters his last lines &#8220;They just screwed with the wrong people&#8221; and its Arnold Schwarzenegger-esque and I love it!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>So where are My Carol, Tyrese and baby Judith? Where is Beth? is she being served up as a snack or is she part of them or somewhere else all together?! OMG October is going to be like hell to wait for!</p>
<p>Love and Sloppy kisses gang!!</p>
<p>~Shelly</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/03/31/walking-dead-season-4-finale/">The Walking Dead &#8220;A&#8221; Season 4 finale</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>The Walking Dead &#8220;Us&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2014/03/27/walking-dead-us/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2014/03/27/walking-dead-us/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Mar 2014 17:48:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Snark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Darryl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terminus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tunnel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://screensnark.com/?p=1372</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Holy bajeezus! Its only one episode until the season finale, and this past week was not a filler episode! The tension is building up for our separated groups and Glenn and Abraham and company are following Maggie&#8217;s bread crumb rail (Blood Sharpie signs) to go to Terminus. Again, sounds like a nasty place, but if&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/03/27/walking-dead-us/">The Walking Dead &#8220;Us&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Holy bajeezus! Its only one episode until the season finale, and this past week was not a filler episode!<br />
The tension is building up for our separated groups and Glenn and Abraham and company are following Maggie&#8217;s bread crumb rail (Blood Sharpie signs) to go to Terminus. Again, sounds like a nasty place, but if Mr Shelly was going there I guess I&#8217;d be compelled to seek him out.<br />
Our rag tag team comes to an impasse when they reach a dark tunnel. Reminds me of the tunnel scene in<em> 28 Days later</em> (tunnels and virus/zombie stuff is never a good thing). Sargent Abraham Ford decides he thinks Tara must love Glenn, for she is following him around like a puppy. He is slightly embarrassed when she reveals she likes girls which also upsets Eugene who may have been sweet on her.<br />
Abraham says they should walk around the tunnel even though it may take a day (and I fucking agree!). Glenn of course NEEDS to be with Maggie right now so he decides the dark tunnel with the possibility of 20-100 walkers is a better plan.<br />
Meanwhile Carl, Michonne and Rick are walking and seem to be ahead of all the groups (?) and Carl and Mcihonne are playing around on the tracks trying to balance. They&#8217;ve challenged each other. Rick asks what they are doing. I&#8217;m happy because again this show is bleak and fucking depressing. Worse than the Killing. At least on The Killing Holder had his one liners and banter with Linden. This show there are very very few laughs.<br />
Then we see Darryl&#8217;s group waking up from their &#8220;alarm&#8221; system of tin cans attached to barbed wire. This shit is like inches from where they sleep. Why they can&#8217;t set up a perimeter and take turns? better yet, why do so many of them sleep outside at all? They aren&#8217;t on the Appalachian trail. I&#8217;d walk until I found a secure building for shits sake. Sometimes (a lot of the time!) this show makes little to no sense. This bandit group that Darryl is with now is beyond shady. Apparently the leader &#8220;Joe&#8221; has rules. You have to say &#8220;claimed&#8221; if you see something you want, and then Boom bazooka Joe its yours. Darryl and one of the unsavories fight over a rabbit that clearly is Darryl&#8217;s catch, but because the bandit says claimed he thinks its his. Sounds like the way only children are raised. If you remember from the episode &#8220;Claimed&#8221; that is what these idiots kept yelling while Rick was pooping his pants under the bed.</p>
<p>Joe decided they should split (literally) little bunny foo foo in half because Darryl didn&#8217;t know the ZA rules of their gang. Why the fuck is Darryl staying with them? He knows how to track, he has seen the signs?? He could have left in the middle of the night and high tailed it to Terminus (which I&#8217;ve already stated may not be the best idea.. .but its better than staying with this fucks)!</p>
<p>Back at the tunnel&#8230;. Abraham, Rositia (with a new Forever 21 outfit), and Eugene (Looks like a dead Ringer for John Laroquette)&#8230;..</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Night_Court_-_Season_-_John_Larroquette_1.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1381" alt="Night_Court_-_Season_-_John_Larroquette_1" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Night_Court_-_Season_-_John_Larroquette_1-237x300.jpg" width="237" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>decide they will get into a mini van they found and still head toward DC. While Glenn and Tara limp and muster through the tunnel with about 15 bullets&#8230; makes perfect sense.. Abraham takes a nap in the back seat which looks like it smells like equal parts of zombie intestines and an old grandpa who smoked, while Rosita and Eugene &#8220;navigate&#8221; their way through the back roads of Georgia.  I&#8217;m hoping they find honey Boo Boo in McIntyre ( I smell a crossover event!)</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Comes+Honey+Boo+Boo+Films+Georgia+pFqxCIn2RKvl.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1376" alt="Comes+Honey+Boo+Boo+Films+Georgia+pFqxCIn2RKvl" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Comes+Honey+Boo+Boo+Films+Georgia+pFqxCIn2RKvl-254x300.jpg" width="254" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>Turns out Eugene is giving Rosita all the wrong directions so they can get back to Glenn and Tara and help them. Boy Eugene seems really confusing as he wants to get to Washington DC and save the world, but also wants to help Glenn .</p>
<p>Glenn and Tara discover the Tunnel is collapsing and so Glenn is checking each walker he sees to make sure it isn&#8217;t Maggie. What is he going to do if he sees a beautiful farm girl walker? There are boulders and rocks everywhere from the collapse and of course klutzy ass Tara gets her ankle stuck. She tells Glenn to go but we just had death last week so I&#8217;m not thinking Tara will die. Glenn is trying to get her out of this weird rock to no avail when all of a sudden a huge group of people you can&#8217;t see pull up and start a shootout similar to the Departed (sighhhhh Scorsese should do TV).<br />
Its Rosita, Eugene, Abraham, and Drunk bob, AND Sasha and &#8230;&#8230;drum roll&#8230; Maggie. Now I don&#8217;t think Maggie and Glenn have shit for chemistry but they are the only couple left so I cheer they are reunited (for now). She explains a bunch of walkers swarmed them in the tunnel (dumb asses should have gone AROUND) and she shot the ceiling to hit them in the heads with the concrete. They are hugging and she finds the picture Glenn took of her in the jail watchtower (i can&#8217;t help humming Bear McCreary&#8217;s version of the song) and she says &#8220;you don&#8217;t need that anymore, we&#8217;ll never be apart again&#8221;. Gee that&#8217;s not a red herring or anything?</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/la-et-st-walking-dead-recap-a-tunnel-full-of-z-001.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1375" alt="la-et-st-walking-dead-recap-a-tunnel-full-of-z-001" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/la-et-st-walking-dead-recap-a-tunnel-full-of-z-001-300x175.jpg" width="300" height="175" /></a></p>
<p>back to Darryl and the shitheads. The guy who fought over the bunny has now planted it in Darryl&#8217;s luggage (a trash-bag) to make him look like he lies. Joe doesn&#8217;t like lying. Hmmm I feel like Joe is down with raping, killing, pillaging and shitting on our back&#8230; but he doesn&#8217;t like a liar? Go figure. Turns out Joe knew his buddy bandit planted it on Darryl. The group starts to beat him as Darryl goes to sleep (WTF?) Darryl wakes up as they are moving closer to terminus and sees the bandit has been beaten to death outside the auto body shop they stayed in the second night. So now Darryl knows they will kill you if you don&#8217;t follow their rules. And still he doesn&#8217;t say &#8220;hey man I have to take a shit I&#8217;ll be back&#8221; and then run away? I used to think this zombie apocalypse would be an adventure, now i&#8217;m not so sure.</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/joe-and-daryl.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1377" alt="joe-and-daryl" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/joe-and-daryl-300x168.png" width="300" height="168" /></a></p>
<p>Now flash to Maggie and Glenn co&#8230;we see the group heading toward the fuckery place of terminus. Eugene said they should help out and then go to DC. Seems Eugene has no intention of EVER getting to DC. They get to a first gate and there is no sign of ANYONE. No Rick, Michonne and Carl.. whom appeared to be ahead of them. There is no locks , there is NOTHING but the sign TERMINUS. WTF? Why not scope a place out? Why just think its the girl scouts of America? I&#8217;d be scaling the outside perimeter like a mother fucker. What is wrong with these people?</p>
<p>They go in further: laundry tubs with old style washboards, plants and sunflowers. Definitely looks like a hippie commune. and then We see a lady barbecuing up &#8220;something&#8221; and she turns around. Her name is Mary and she is going to offer them up a plate.</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Terminus_3.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1378" alt="Terminus_3" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Terminus_3-300x166.png" width="300" height="166" /></a></p>
<p>Tits on a stick!! A plate of what???!!!!!!! I can&#8217;t be the only one getting a really really bad feeling about this!!</p>
<p>Again the preview for next week is dubstep with intestines. Rick is covered in blood so it could be anything. I&#8217;m betting on a major death but at this point I don&#8217;t really want anyone to die. i will say right here , right now, if little ass kicker baby Judith dies I&#8217;m going to have to switch to Dancing with the Stars; and i&#8217;d rather a dog fart in my face.</p>
<p>Love and Sloppy kisses!!</p>
<p>~Shelly</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/03/27/walking-dead-us/">The Walking Dead &#8220;Us&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Walking Dead &#8220;The Grove&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2014/03/18/walking-dead-grove/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2014/03/18/walking-dead-grove/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Mar 2014 18:39:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Snark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lizzie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mika]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheWalkingDead]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<p>&#160; Okay so like holy bajeezus! This week I and many of you got what we finanllllllly needed&#8230; A great episode!!! The last two have been &#8220;okay&#8221; with Darryl and Beth, but they are making mistakes left and right being silly and now they are split up and Darryl is with what appears to be&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/03/18/walking-dead-grove/">Walking Dead &#8220;The Grove&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/tumblr_n2k9ofbbmi1rh2puwo1_500-walking-dead-recap-3-things-you-might-have-missed-in-the-grove.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1342" alt="tumblr_n2k9ofbbmi1rh2puwo1_500-walking-dead-recap-3-things-you-might-have-missed-in-the-grove" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/tumblr_n2k9ofbbmi1rh2puwo1_500-walking-dead-recap-3-things-you-might-have-missed-in-the-grove-300x300.jpg" width="300" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Okay so like holy bajeezus! This week I and many of you got what we finanllllllly needed&#8230; A great episode!!! The last two have been &#8220;okay&#8221; with Darryl and Beth, but they are making mistakes left and right being silly and now they are split up and Darryl is with what appears to be some grim looking dudes.</p>
<p>This week is all about Carol, Tyreese, crazy Lizzie and Mika (or Micah? I have no idea) and of course little ass-kicker herself; Baby Judith. We see the episode open up with them shoveling along the railroad and they go off to look for food (? I think my dogs were barking at that point) And they see a house. A pretty decent house. It doesn&#8217;t look as anal and well taken care of as the cemetery house from last episode but a nice house none the less. Carol and Tyreese (an unlikely pairing) have great chemistry together and I don&#8217;t mean sexual. I mean they play well off each other. You know there is tension and a history but yet everything seems to happen organically. They actually have the forethought to &#8220;clear&#8221; the house before they let the girls come in. I&#8217;m telling you this is something that should be Zombie Apocalypse world 101. Not sitting down eating Jam and playing drinking games (<em>I&#8217;m looking at you Beth and Darryl!</em>).</p>
<p>As the girls sit there with baby Judith letting the adults make sure the house is safe, there is some pretty eerie possible foreshadowing. A little grave with bronze baby shoes. I immediately think poor baby Judith is going to bite it. I&#8217;m hoping not because as I&#8217;ve pointed out this show is little on the hope in a jar side. Baby Judith I believe, is the only beacon of hope that can bring this group back together. She is much more important than she may ever realize.</p>
<p>Earlier on the railroad a walker gets trapped in the tracks and as Tyreese goes to kill it Lizze begs for him not to. She is so flat out wrong about what the walkers are. Its not that she isn&#8217;t getting it, <strong><em>she will never get it</em>.</strong></p>
<p>This becomes evident as Carol is brewing tea in the quaint kitchen (which how awesome it this house has propane still?!!!! Again I think about this shit too much but in <em>&#8220;The Stand&#8221;</em> by Stephen King everyone got to &#8220;pick&#8221; a house and set it up as their own, I always was drawn to that part of the ZA ( <em>not that it would be fun but I was always fascinated by it</em>). Anyway Lizzie is playing freeze tag with the Walker. For christ sake. She can&#8217;t just play TV tag with Mika? they can&#8217;t just spout of &#8220;Sam and Cat, Sponge Bob, Survivor&#8221;? She has to play tag with a walker. <em>See she doesn&#8217;t get it.</em></p>
<p>It escalates from there. Carol expresses how Sophia died and how her being too sweet is what killed her. She parallels Mika and her own daughter. Lizzie just going on with her blank expression and the differences between the two sisters couldn&#8217;t be more apparent. Mika can&#8217;t kill &#8220;alive&#8221; people and Lizzie can&#8217;t seem to kill a walker but has no problem putting a bullet in between the eyes of anyone. See there can be a healthy balance. It reminds me of &#8220;<em>Wife Swap</em>&#8220;. They always pick two ridiculously different moms. A slob who doesn&#8217;t make her kids bathe and enjoys they all smell like meat thats been left out on the porch for a forte night vs a super anal clean freak mom , who scrubs her children with a Brillo pad and bleach. See its ridic. You can meet in the middle. Kill walkers and kill people who threaten you.</p>
<p>We learn that Lizzie is the one who has been feeding the walkers back at th eprison as she returns to the railroad walker and tried to feed him. I have kids, I have 2 daughters a tad bit older than Lizzie and Mika. I know this is make believe, but I&#8217;m confident in the fact my daughters would know that a damn zombie is a damn zombie. Even on the Telltale Game <em>&#8220;The Walking Dead&#8221;</em> Clementine knows she has to kill Lee. She <em>KNOWS IT!</em></p>
<p>Carol and Tyreese go off not too far to look for a deer to have as meat. Carol is not seeing the full picture of Lizzie&#8217;s psychosis. She&#8217;s not privy to all the info we have on her, or maybe she&#8217;s not looking for it. You can tell something weird is coming, there is never an ice cream sundae on this show.</p>
<p>Tyreese tells carol of his dreams of Karen and how he only sees a stranger killing her. I&#8217;m yelling at the TV at this point&#8221;Shut up Carol! Don&#8217;t do it&#8221;! I don&#8217;t want her to reveal <em><strong>SHE</strong></em> killed Karen (and David) I don&#8217;t think it will give Tyreese what he needs right now. They walk back to the house and we see Lizzie. Jesus Christ bananas. her hands are covered in <strong>BLOOD</strong>. yes fucking blood. I&#8217;m so worried for baby Judy. I can&#8217;t hear her and the camera pans to the ground. baby Judith is okay and Mika ids dead. I actually <strong>GASPED!</strong> This was some<em> Breaking Bad</em> killing Hank, <em>ER</em> Lucy getting stabbed,<em> Dallas</em> &#8220;who shot J.R.&#8221; type of shit.</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Mika_Too_Far_Gone.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1343" alt="Mika_Too_Far_Gone" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Mika_Too_Far_Gone-226x300.png" width="226" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>Tyreese and Carol are in shock and trying to keep it together. In that one moment it all comes to fruition. Lizzie is sick, and I&#8217;m sorry this is the ZA, they don&#8217;t have time to treat her with meds even if they could find some at a pharmacy. That&#8217;s not how mental illness works. Lizzie tries to explain she wants Mika to come back, in fact she didn&#8217;t &#8220;hurt her brain&#8221; and then Carol will see.. she&#8221;ll see what Lizzie is talking about. They aren&#8217;t just undead soulless monsters, they are playmates? The fuck?</p>
<p>Lizzie also confesses she was about to kill baby Judith before they came up. Carol nervously points out &#8220;she can&#8217;t even walk yet&#8221;&#8230; because what the fuck do you say to a little girl lost? She convinces Lizzie to let Tyresse take Judith to the house and she can tie up Mika in case she becomes dangerous. Lizzie obliges and Carol has to obviously take care of Mika before she turns. I<br />
m literally reeling from this. Its a gut punch. yes Lizzie has been a weird kid for weeks now and very detached, but this was hard. that was <em><strong>HER SISTER</strong></em>. I immediately think if she can do that to her sister, her only family left in this world&#8230; she can do that to ANY OF THEM. Its clear what Carol is going to have to do.</p>
<p>She takes Lizzie for a walk and Lizzie begins to get upset &#8220;Are you mad at me&#8221; she apologizes for raising her gun to Carol. She still ins&#8217;t getting it. There is no hope for her to ever get it. You hear off screen a single shot. Which bookends Carol&#8217;s poor sweet Sophia&#8217;s fate by Rick. (<em>which was also a gut wrenching scene</em>).</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Carol_The_Grove-630x418.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1341" alt="Carol_The_Grove-630x418" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Carol_The_Grove-630x418-300x199.jpg" width="300" height="199" /></a></p>
<p>Carol and Tyrese are now sitting in the house talking about what happened. Carol now decides to confess what she did to karen. I really don&#8217;t know how Tyreese will react but Carol has some big balls to do this. But maybe she was sick of carrying guilt over a decision she felt just in doing? He says he forgives her but he will never forget, so that may foreshadow some shit to come. One thing is certain they must leave this house in &#8220;the grove&#8221; . They need to see if their group may be at &#8220;terminus&#8221; and so they walk on. Melissa McBride should straight up win a g&#8217; damn Emmy for this epic yet hard episode!</p>
<p>Next week the previews are always so mishmash its like scenes played to dubstep, So I have no clue whats about to happen. But again &#8220;terminus&#8221; doesn&#8217;t sound like Happy, Texas.</p>
<p>Love and Sloppy Kisses~~ Shelly</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/03/18/walking-dead-grove/">Walking Dead &#8220;The Grove&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>The Walking Dead &#8220;Alone&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2014/03/14/walking-dead-alone/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2014/03/14/walking-dead-alone/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Mar 2014 15:24:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Snark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oneeyeddog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terminus]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<p>This past Sunday on The walking dead I felt finally there was a wee bit of progression. Last week was so much a filler episode it was ridiculous. Now maybe the actress who plays Beth (Emily Kinney) is amaze balls in other roles. I&#8217;ve never seen her in anything until now. I think she needs&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/03/14/walking-dead-alone/">The Walking Dead &#8220;Alone&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This past Sunday on The walking dead I felt finally there was a wee bit of progression. Last week was so much a filler episode it was ridiculous. Now maybe the actress who plays Beth (Emily Kinney) is amaze balls in other roles. I&#8217;ve never seen her in anything until now. I think she needs some polishing and maybe a different role would be better for her. I&#8217;ve never thought much of the character Beth. She&#8217;s always kinda been window dressing in the back drop. Not what I would call a strong woman type role. Maybe I&#8217;m wrong? But her acting is just coming off as Forrest Gump in many scenes.<br />
So our backwoods hero Darryl and Beth find themselves again alone and in some weird predicament. They are traveling along through the woods (and side-note&#8230;when they all left the prison in a hurry. why didn&#8217;t they have a backup meeting plan for if/when the Governor or any million unforeseen bad things could have happens to them??? like &#8220;lets meet at the Walmart on highway 80 if we get split up&#8221;??<em> Is that too much to ask for?</em>) Anyway&#8230;&#8230;..Beth gets her ankle/foot stuck in a dog trap? a bear trap? Some kind of plot device trap? And so then she is forced to be carried via piggy back by Darryl (sign me up!). I&#8217;m not sure if its only me that sees the show runners as trying to force chemistry between these two. I take it Beth is 17-19ish? And Darryl is old like me and I know that weird Michael Douglas Katherine Zeta Jones shit goes on but I can do without it and the throat HPV thank you.<br />
They find a cemetery and a house on the grounds that looks straight out of &#8220;Sleeping with the Enemy&#8221; (1991). Shit is OCD&#8217;d to the max. Clean, no dust, organized and categorized. I would have run form the git go. That means that there is someone for sure living there and taking care of this place. They aren&#8217;t just using it for a night or two and taking a dump in the corner! But Beth and Darryl here lately have had rocks for brains. They eat straight marmalade and jelly and think they&#8217;ll just stay. They think they&#8217;ll explain to the people who live there that they can share. Has Darryl been watching this g&#8217; damn show? Beth keeps repeating in her Forrest Gumpish voice &#8221; there are still good people out there&#8221; . Ummm no&#8230;&#8230; there ain&#8217;t.<br />
Darryl wants to take a nappy in a coffin as Beth sings. Now I will give Emily Kinney some propers; she is a pretty good folk singer. She is soothing Darryl&#8217;s beast and all seems quiet and peaceful. Then Darryl hears a dog and willy nilly opens the door. And indeed its a dog. Looks like The Governor is dog form. One eye and maybe one leg? Not sure , looks like the dogs here at my local country store. They are all missing some sort of appendage and no one seems to claim them.<br />
The dog runs away and you&#8217;re left wondering : How the frack did this dog stay alive this long? How has no one eaten him? What has he been eating? What heart worm medicine is he on? Ya know the normal stuff!</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/The-Walking-Dead-One-Eyed-Dog.gif"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1333" alt="The-Walking-Dead-One-Eyed-Dog" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/The-Walking-Dead-One-Eyed-Dog-300x124.gif" width="300" height="124" /></a></p>
<p>We are intersected also with Maggie, Drunk Bob, and Sasha. We see a little of Bob&#8217;s back story and how he was alone for so long until Darryl and co. found him. I will say the only one of this whole show whom I believe could survive alone for any amount of time is Michonne. So Bob doesn&#8217;t want to be alone and argues with Sasha they should follow Maggie when she wants to leave and look for Glenn. I agree, its suicide to go on your own, plus why would you want to live like that? I think about the Zombie apocalypse an absurd amount of time. I believe I&#8217;d want to be with a small group I could trust. I&#8217;d never need to be in a town like Woodbury or anything of the such, but alone? No thank you.<br />
Maggie is a bit ahead of them on the railroad tracks and drunk bob and Sasha bicker the whole way about how they should be living. She believe they should find some high building (In Georgia) and grow food and shit. Bob thinks they should push on and meet up with Maggie. He has hope, which this show has little to none of.</p>
<p>Back to Darryl and Beth Gump. They are eating more jam and jelly and he hears the dog again, and you can see the set up coming but I still squeal. &#8220;Knock Knock&#8221; &#8230;. &#8221; who&#8217;s there?&#8221; A BUNCH OF ZOMBIES AT YOUR DOOR! Jesus Darryl!  He just swings the door open thinking it&#8217;ll be his furry friend and its like a group of Woodstock zombies right there. He screams for Beth to run (with her gimp ankle) and the zombies push themselves in.<em> Now this is my problem</em>. This Apocalypse has been going on for some time now. Michonne and Rick are pretty good at &#8220;clearing&#8221; a place and they dot their i&#8217;s and cross their t&#8217;s. Darryl knows better. Is his judgement clouded with Beth? I don&#8217;t know but it annoys the piss outta me.<br />
Beth scuffles and goes &#8220;somewhere&#8221;. Darryl goes to the basement where they embalm the bodies and fights the walkers off one by one and manages to escape yelling for Beth. He sees the book-bag full of money and jewels he took last week (don&#8217;t get me started on that??!!! Shit isn&#8217;t worth anything any more dummy). And he&#8217;s looking for her. We then pan to a car with a cross graphic on the back of it. well you know what that means? I never trust people with those Jesus fish on their cars or a cross! they are the first to cut you off, and the first to tailgate you! So I&#8217;m pretty sure its doomsday for Beth (which I&#8217;d be okay with&#8230; Darryl belongs with Carol anyway).</p>
<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/the-car-that-kidnapped-beth.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1334" alt="the-car-that-kidnapped-beth" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/the-car-that-kidnapped-beth-300x170.jpg" width="300" height="170" /></a></p>
<p>.. back to Sasha and Drunk Bob split up after kissing on the railroad and Maggie is way ahead of them now. There have been signs for &#8220;terminus&#8221; (which does that sound like a friendly place to head for?) &#8220;All who arrive, survive&#8221;? Am I the only idiot who thinks that sound like a damn trap? the frack I&#8217;m going there thinking its a sanctuary.</p>
<p>Sasha finds some building that has a loft like place in it. She looks out the window and sees Maggie taking a snooze between two walkers on the ground by an ice cream truck! I shit you not. I feel some editing was done poorly here. There is no explanation that Maggie is literally laying in dirt hanging out with walkers. But Sasha sees some zombies coming to ward her and decides to help Maggie. its exciting and gross and the two girls hug. They agree they should stick together. They finally catch up with Drunk Bob who was just plugging along the railroad, so now this whole episode for them was kinda silly since there are now a team again.</p>
<p>Ending scene.. Darryl is sitting in the middle of the leaf covered highway just I guess feeling sorry for himself and upset he lost Beth. And we see a group of men approach him. The leader being (Jeff Kober!! Who is never never ever a nice guy!). He is the guy from the group of bandits from a few episodes ago who Rick had to kill one of them. This isn&#8217;t good. Darryl aims his cross bow but the leader says &#8220;Why hurt yourself when you can hurt others&#8221;. So basically they are telling him to join their gang, He has no choice. Christ is there ever a moment of hope on this show? I&#8217;ve read a good chunk of the comics and they are much more rough, but this is TV land!! You have to give me a bone.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Only two episodes left&#8230;. and I&#8217;m sure there is no light at the end of this tunnel.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Love and sloppy kisses ~ Shelly</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/03/14/walking-dead-alone/">The Walking Dead &#8220;Alone&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Switch Hitter: Workaholics</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2014/01/25/switch-hitter-workaholics/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2014/01/25/switch-hitter-workaholics/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Jan 2014 04:30:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Switch Hitter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://screensnark.com/?p=1148</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Oooooooooomg this week I was on the button, which actually isn&#8217;t as easy as it seems. I get confused and I picked a show that maybe my fellow screensnarkers did indeed watch instead of one they don&#8217;t. I don&#8217;t watch toooooo many fuckery weird programs ( okay Shelly okay). For Switch Hitter this week I&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/01/25/switch-hitter-workaholics/">Switch Hitter: Workaholics</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Oooooooooomg this week I was on the button, which actually isn&#8217;t as easy as it seems. I get confused and I picked a show that maybe my fellow screensnarkers did<em> indeed</em> watch instead of one they don&#8217;t. I don&#8217;t watch toooooo many fuckery weird programs <em>( okay Shelly okay)</em>.</p>
<p>For Switch Hitter this week I picked Workaholics on Comedy Central. I cannot express how much I love this goofy as all hell show. The story of 3 friends ( and a homeless sidekick) who have low level low stress office telemarketing jobs and the follies they get into on the daily.</p>
<p>This show may not seem like your typical show that appeals to a mom of two girls, but I shit you not&#8230;. I laugh out loud through the whole episode usually. Blake, Adam and Anders have this banter that seems so real due to them having real friendships IN REAL LIFE (mind blown).  It reminds me of the banter Vince Vaughn and John Favreau have in real life and on the short lived series &#8216;Dinner for 5&#8242; on IFC? <em>(I want that show to still be on air&#8211; hell I&#8217;d love to produce that show and have weirdo guests from 80&#8242;s shows like St Elsewhere or Silver Spoons &#8230;okay back on track).</em>&#8230;.I enjoy that so much, the free flow and uninterrupted tit for tats.</p>
<p>There are drug jokes and use, rape inferences, unclaimed homosexual tendencies, immaturity, depravity, and lots and lots of butthole humor. Which is a bonus for me since I seem to have a healthy/unhealthy obsession with all this butthole, loose or tight. My workaholics use &#8220;tight butthole&#8221; for a good situation and &#8221; loose butthole&#8221; for unsavory ones. Makes. Perfect. Sense.</p>
<p>I have pretty much nothing in common with these guys and yet I think it&#8217;s one of the best shows on TV. Its not The typical cheesy line up on CBS with the yuk yuk laugh track. I sometimes feel guilty for even laughing at some the outrageous and awkward situations. And when I say awkward I mean like when a dog is buried in someone&#8217;s crotch searching for Cibola or something while you&#8217;re trying to have a conversation &#8230;.that kind of awkward.</p>
<p>So I hope my fellow ScreenSnarkers have a tight butthole after this experience&#8230;never mind &#8230;.I know they do.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>~Shelly</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>*********************************************************************************************</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Cam:</p>
<p>Tight butthole. When I learned that Shelly had picked Workaholics for this week’s Switch Hitter I got worried. I believe the point of Switch Hitter is to pick shows that the commentators don’t normally watch, and I’m a Workaholicsaholic. Then I said fuck it, I won’t say anything and I’ll write about a show that I was going to watch anyways. Kill two birds with one lazy stone. I got into it after the first season had aired and many of my friends told me how hilarious it was. The ads were always kind of lame and I’d thought it was about some straight laced guys in silly situations. It’s almost the opposite of that, these characters could not be further from straight laced. I watched the latest episode on Wednesday, the season 4 premiere “Orgazmo Birth”. The premise of the episode lied within the gang, Anders, Blake and Adam, trying to to go to an EDM rave. This being Workaholics, things don’t go exactly as planned.<br />
Montez, their sexually able co-worker, agrees to buy tickets on the condition that he can go, to get away from his pregnant wife. He has to be with them since the tickets are on will-call. When the gang goes to pick Montez up however, it’s in the middle of a baby shower and Montez can’t get away. The guys infiltrate the baby shower and Anders DJs as his alter ego “DJ Ango”, and everybody accidentally drinks the guys water laced with ecstasy. Safe to say things get pretty insane, but when the gang tries sneaking Montez out his wife goes into labor literally breaking her water on Adam’s face. They go to take her to a birthing center, but since she just needs a pool they stop at a gym. There’s a hilarious sequence where the gym employee gives them a tour of the complex as Montez’s pregnant wife is trying to move things along. They get to the pool and since the plan was for her to orgasm as she gives birth, but Montez is unconscious in the car so the fellas have to stimulate her and they are completely ineffective. They didn’t even get gym memberships despite the fact that they had a baby in the pool.  My only complaint for this episode? No Jillian. She cracks me the fuck up.</p>
<p>So yeah, of course I know why people like Workaholics. It’s a completely ridiculous show, to go from a baby shower blasting dubstep with old women shaking their titties to Lois Griffin giving birth in a gym hot tub, the situations don’t get much more insane. Some of my favorite past Workaholics moments include the guys at a Juggalo festival, Anders and Adam trying to fight in speedos but they kept getting boners, set up a sting operation for a pedophile but befriending him, their drug dealer friend Karl writing “rape van” on the side his van so nobody fucks with it. The funniest part, however, is the interplay between the guys during all this. The biggest laughs often come from some kind of silly side conversation they have. The dialogue, like the rest of the show, is based almost nowhere in the realm of reality but squarely in the land of hilarity. I’d recommend this show to anyone who isn’t adverse to off the wall, irreverent, drug fueled comedy.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>************************************************************************************************</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Rob:</p>
<p>It has taken me a long time to come around to the idea of enjoying Comedy Central&#8217;s Workaholics. When it first debuted a few seasons ago, the ad campaign for the show was squarely aimed at the college male demographic, of which I have long since exited. Even the opening credits feature a marijuana pipe and red Solo cups, just one rohypnol pill shy of the college frat party trifecta. Combined with the uber-popular Tosh.0, Workaholics just reeked of the type of comedy that I just would not enjoy. However, this past year I enjoyed two of the stars of the show in other projects. Anders Holm had (and continues to have) a great guest role as Mindy Kaling&#8217;s boyfriend on &#8220;The Mindy Project&#8221;. Adam Devine has had some scene-stealing roles in the movie &#8220;Pitch Perfect&#8221; as well as playing the &#8220;manny&#8221; (male nanny) on &#8220;Modern Family&#8221;. I enjoyed both of these guys so much that I decided to finally give Workaholics a try, and much to my surprise, the episodes I watched from the first season were pretty funny (my favorite was the episode with the Juggalos).</p>
<p>For this assignment, I decided to begin watching the show as it aired for the first time, so I am reviewing the first episode of the new season, &#8220;Orgazmo Birth&#8221;. The plot revolves around the three guys wanting to attend the electronic festival Technotopia, but the high priced tickets turn them off. Their henpecked coworker Montez agrees to buy their tickets if they promise to bring him to the festival and help him escape his wife&#8217;s baby shower. The three guys proceed to purchase a drug call &#8220;Molly&#8221; to use at the festival, but it ends up in the bellies of the women at the baby shower due to a kool-aid mixup. Everyone is dancing to Anders&#8217; music, which he is playing under the name DJ Ango, a joke that he beats to death over the course of the episode (but that appears to be par for the course for this show, which isn&#8217;t necessarily a bad thing). As Adam is grinding on Montez&#8217;s wife, her water breaks on his face. The guys now have to decide whether to take her to a delivery room or to the medical tent at their musical festival, which results in a hilarious series of U-turns in an indecisive car.</p>
<p>They eventually decide to have a water birth at a gymnasium pool. Montez&#8217;s wife wants to have an &#8220;orgasmic water birth&#8221; which results in the three guys trying to help her achieve orgasm, which is incredibly bizarre. Luckily (?) Montez shows up to help her out as she ejaculates the baby (which is a phrase I never thought I&#8217;d ever need to use).</p>
<p>The episode ends with the three guys and Montez trying to get into the electronica festival only to discover that one of their coworkers (who they made fun of earlier in the episode) used Montez&#8217;s name and ID badge to collect their ticket at will call. Ha ha.</p>
<p>Overall, this episode was entertaining. I can see why it is popular with the college audience, as this episode did have a lot of drug and sex humor. The show is like The Three Stooges on LSD as the three characters are constantly bumbling their way through every experience. I definitely want to keep watching to see what adventures they&#8217;ll fall into next.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>*************************************</p>
<p>&#8220;The show is like The Three Stooges on LSD &#8221; and &#8220;tight butthole&#8221; sum it up.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Thanks folks!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>~Shelly</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/01/25/switch-hitter-workaholics/">Switch Hitter: Workaholics</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Ultimate (hottie) Survivor; Alaska</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2014/01/04/ultimate-hottie-survivor-alaska/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2014/01/04/ultimate-hottie-survivor-alaska/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Jan 2014 05:10:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Switch Hitter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://screensnark.com/?p=1016</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>This week I might have been confused but I did a Switch Hitter and  not a SLIW. I&#8217;ve been in a Walter White Christmas induced fugue state, forgive me. I picked Ultimate Survivor Alaska on Nat Geo. I don&#8217;t know if there have been ultimate Survivors in Maine, Virginia, or Arizona..I assume not. But I&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/01/04/ultimate-hottie-survivor-alaska/">Ultimate (hottie) Survivor; Alaska</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/35743.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-1020" alt="35743" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/35743-300x168.jpg" width="300" height="168" /></a></p>
<p>This week I might have been confused but I did a Switch Hitter and  not a SLIW. I&#8217;ve been in a Walter White Christmas induced fugue state, forgive me. I picked Ultimate Survivor Alaska on Nat Geo. I don&#8217;t know if there have been ultimate Survivors in Maine, Virginia, or Arizona..I assume not. But I love me some Alaska. I want to roll in the primordial snow naked and run from Polar Bears and sex it up in a real igloo. There are a bajillion shows about Alaska and I don&#8217;t care, I&#8217;ll be watching most of them.</p>
<p>The point of this one is for four teams to journey through an obstacle course of sorts, Alaska style. Now this is similar to the onslaught of new &#8221; fake&#8221; reality TV shows. Or maybe I&#8217;m wiser now and realized shit is staged&#8230;Still I don&#8217;t care. I must share, I usually find myself attracted to a few men here or there on TV shows and sex them up in my mind. It&#8217;s not a big deal..I can&#8217;t openly finger bang in the living room with my family looking on now can I? i(I have boundaries!)  I&#8217;m also at that &#8220;age&#8221; not in my 20&#8242;s but not yet 40. I&#8217;m not sure if all women experience this but my thoughts of sex rival that of a high school boy (and my maturity level). I can also again wash the dishes or pay bills (not as dreamy) while watching this show.</p>
<p>The four teams are :The Military, and holy shit they are hot. The main guy seems very Matt Lauer metro douche-ish but the other two are rugged and not so annoying. The Endurance team has the youngest guy to win the Iditarod&#8230;ever, so that&#8217;s sexy and they have my favorite, a sexy Eskimo on the team. The Woodsmen: ha! The lady is amazing! She&#8217;s a tough ass broad who is a dead ringer for Dog the Bounty Hunter, and she has two guys who have to live in a log cabin.. I love them. Last team The Mountaineers: they are from Alaska and climb every vagina and crevice Alaska has to offer. They are skilled (sometimes dumb) and make my vagina a flutter (just a bit).</p>
<p>This show won&#8217;t make you smarter but it&#8217;s pretty good. Most men won&#8217;t have sex in my pretend igloo in my head but you might like the show regardless.</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8211;</p>
<p>CAM</p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">When I learned that I’d be watching Ultimate Survival Alaska on the National Geographic channel, I didn’t really know what to expect. I thought maybe it would be similar to Man Vs Wild, or Survivorman. I watch these sorts of shows occasionally when I’m not really paying attention to the tv and need some background noise. So I was surprised to discover that in fact it’s a reality competition show. Normally I’m not a big reality competition guy; I don’t watch Survivor, Amazing Race, Real World Road Rules Challenge, etc. However I do have to open my mind somewhat since I just this last season got hardcore into Big Brother. Though I was less interested in the competition aspects of Big Brother, and more the voyeuristic angle as a group of people are filmed 24/7. So I decided to give this a fair shot. I ended up watching the first episode and maybe about half of the second.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">First off I have to mention I love the no-nonsense intro. Dudes on a plane are dropped off with maps and minimal gear and a destination and they’re off. There’s no 30 minute build up, no annoying host eating time, just dropping these poor fuckers into a foot of snow and watching them go. The four teams of three people are introduced as they come upon a dog sled camp. The first team is the “endurance” team, consisting of two world class athletes including a fucking dog sledding champion, and a live off the land real Alaskan. I favor this team immediately, since they just come to dog sleds and they have the youngest winner of the Iditarod ever. Second team is the “military” team, consisting of former special services military guys. They decide, fuck the sleds, let’s just run. I like this team, I hope they win. I still feel the endurance team has the best chance, but I’m rooting for the military guys. The next team are the “woodsmen” comprised of wood cutters and shit like that. Only team with one girl. I can’t imagine them doing well at all. Finally the last team is the “mountaineers”. A bunch of Alaskan mountain climbers. They could do all right, I guess. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">So I guess each episode they’re dropped into a new location with the only goal to get from point A to point B in 72 hours time. The military guys come in first in the first episode, and the woodsmen almost don’t make it. The second episode I watch drops the crews into bear country. The woodsmen soon run into a secluded hermit who happens to have a boat that they can have. The fuck? They’re allowed to take shit like that? I guess it is a true survival show. I want to be the team who happens across a guy with an airplane. The episode is hyped up with the military guys running into bears. So I’m waiting for this bear encounter and when it happens it’s such bullshit that I have to turn it off. They happen upon a bear cave and they’re all freaked out, holding up their assault rifles. Then we see a second of a bear head peek up and the guys just freak the fuck out, blind firing a shotgun in the caves’ direction and take off running. Aaaaand, that was it. That was the biggest bear danger. The fuck happened, did they just wound an animal? Some bear that just wanted to know what the hell all that noise was? Dicks.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">So overall it’s a pretty big meh for me. A 6/10 type deal, something I won’t seek out, but won’t dive for the remote to change if it’s on. Since there’s cameramen who always have multiple angles, I can’t fully invest in the “survival” aspect of Ultimate Survival Alaska. There’s entire crews out there munching on Taco Bell playing on their iPhones between takes. I also don’t know what they’re playing for. Along with the no frills introduction we also got no sense of what they’re competing for. Well, according to National Geographic’s website, “</span><span style="color: #000000;">It&#8217;s an epic competition series where the only prize is survival.” What? Like, they’re not playing for anything? I don’t get it. A bunch of adrenaline junkies or something? So they don’t have THAT much motivation. Fuck it, go Military Team.</span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2014/01/04/ultimate-hottie-survivor-alaska/">Ultimate (hottie) Survivor; Alaska</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>American Horror Story &#8220;The Axeman Cometh&#8221; Its getting sexxxxy in here!</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2013/11/24/american-horror-story-axeman-cometh-getting-sexxxxxxy/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2013/11/24/american-horror-story-axeman-cometh-getting-sexxxxxxy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 24 Nov 2013 21:24:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Snark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horror]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Story]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[witch]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://screensnark.com/?p=821</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Okay so I&#8217;ve been slacking in both my TV watching and reviewing the shows I watch. I&#8217;m sure some of you can empathize and agree life sometimes kicks every square inch of your ass. My American Horror Story is holding my captivation and going strong. In the episode (hehe Joel) &#8220;The Axeman Cometh&#8221; AHS started&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2013/11/24/american-horror-story-axeman-cometh-getting-sexxxxxxy/">American Horror Story &#8220;The Axeman Cometh&#8221; Its getting sexxxxy in here!</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/American_Horror_Story_60530.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-824" alt="American_Horror_Story_60530" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/American_Horror_Story_60530-300x150.jpg" width="300" height="150" /></a></p>
<p>Okay so I&#8217;ve been slacking in both my TV watching and reviewing the shows I watch. I&#8217;m sure some of you can empathize and agree life sometimes kicks every square inch of your ass.<br />
My American Horror Story is holding my captivation and going strong. In the episode (hehe Joel) &#8220;The Axeman Cometh&#8221; AHS started to finally piss me off. I don&#8217;t mean in a good or bad way. Sometimes shows do this to me, even if I like or love them . I remember screaming at my TV every week the last season of LOST and I cherish that show like a finding a rare dildo with rhinestones that sings to you on a corner market in a local city. Anyway&#8230;..</p>
<p>AHS does such a good job of flashbacks without being obnoxiously overt. We learn about the Axeman of New Orleans; an active Serial Killer in the New Orleans area circa 1918. I immediately go &#8220;I know him&#8221;! He&#8217;s the creepy goth vampire from &#8220;30 Days of Night&#8221; (an excellent Vampire movie if you&#8217;re hankering for that type of thing. I&#8217;m attracted to him, he&#8217;s waaaaaay older than me but has this weird sexiness to him. I don&#8217;t have daddy issues so it makes no sense except I&#8217;m closing in on 40 and that= horny.</p>
<p>He infiltrates the Hogwarts of New Orleans and is double crossed by the witches who inhabit it and reads a tarot card and is essentially &#8220;trapped&#8221; in the house. I suppose he is a demon or ghost of some sort. that&#8217;s the great thing about American Horror Story, there are no rules. You have no idea what to expect from each episode. Maybe Ryan Murphy will throw in a rape (he likes that theme) maybe he&#8217;ll throw in some new set of supernatural laws. You never know.</p>
<p>Fast Forward to present day; Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) likes snooping around and finds a secret compartment full of various off things. A secret box, umbrellas, a Ouija board, the souls of perverted men and various anal beads (not really) but ya know the typical witch stuff. She contacts some evil presence (The Axeman) in the house to ask where Madison Montgomery is. (Who cares??!! I was so happy when Emma Roberts was killed. Stop trying to make &#8220;Sexy Emma Roberts happen.. she&#8217;s not sexy. She looks like a Fraggle Rock. And I support women and I think women are luscious sexy yummy delicious creatures, really I do. but Emma Roberts isn&#8217;t sexy like her Dad. She doesn&#8217;t have that Serial Rapey eyed killer look like him in Star 80)! Wow what a lot of thought for parenthesis!</p>
<p>Come to find out Jeeves ( Spalding) had his enchanted tongue in the box of dildos and Zoe found it. She spells that shit back in his mouth and like a magical Sodium Pentathol he starts revealing secrets. Who Is Roger Rabbit? Was Oswald the Lone gunman and who killed that gash Madison Montgomery. Ahhhhh, its Fiona. And you can see the wheels spinning for Zoe wanting to take out Fiona in some upcoming episodes. But see I get angry, I don&#8217;t care how awful and self centered and self serving Fiona is, she&#8217;s Jessica God Damn Lange. leave her be.</p>
<p>To release the info that Zoe got from the &#8220;ghost&#8221; version of the Axeman she had to release him. again I have no ideas for the lore and rules in this Squishy sexy world, but he is released and gets to walk to a local jazz bar for some pounding and killing. Maybe he gets chicken wings? I know if I was condemned for almost 100 years I would need some chicken wings and some anal. but that&#8217;s just me.</p>
<p>Cordelia is now back from the hospital trying to put the pieces together of her life after being attacked with poison in her face. And even though she is blind she can &#8220;see&#8221; things now, like a gift with purchase. Her yuppy ass husband comes into her room with her and she is highly agitated and can &#8220;see&#8221; everything he has been doing. Well at least the buggering and killing of the red headed hussy he shot in the week prior. We find out he is working for Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) and is supposed to take out the whole Coven! Whattttt!?? I knew he was more than just a dirty dick husband! he&#8217;s a double crossing coward butthole. I do believe he loves Cordelia though I don&#8217;t think he just infiltrated the cool and didn&#8217;t fall in love with her.</p>
<p>I need to catch up with the current episode again folks I&#8217;m sorry this grown up shit is hard and tiring.</p>
<p>5 outta 5 sexy killer witchy bitchy nipple tingling stars.</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2013/11/24/american-horror-story-axeman-cometh-getting-sexxxxxxy/">American Horror Story &#8220;The Axeman Cometh&#8221; Its getting sexxxxy in here!</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>The Amazing Race (dragging ass eppys 2, 3 and 4)</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2013/10/21/amazing-race-dragging-ass-eppys-2-3-4/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2013/10/21/amazing-race-dragging-ass-eppys-2-3-4/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Oct 2013 14:31:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Snark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fish-heads]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THEAMAZINGRACE]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://screensnark.com/?p=632</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>&#160; Okay guys I know Im behind in The Amazing Race, so this will be a mashup of eppys 2, 3 and 4! Sheesh real life is kicking my fantasy TV life ass! Like WTF? In eppy 3, the NFL superstars came in last because they had a nightmarish experience in the airport. Those airport delays&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2013/10/21/amazing-race-dragging-ass-eppys-2-3-4/">The Amazing Race (dragging ass eppys 2, 3 and 4)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/The_Amazing_Race_23_logo.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-495" alt="The_Amazing_Race_23_logo" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/The_Amazing_Race_23_logo.jpg" width="250" height="139" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Okay guys I know Im behind in The Amazing Race, so this will be a mashup of eppys 2, 3 and 4! Sheesh real life is kicking my fantasy TV life ass! Like WTF?</p>
<p>In eppy 3, the NFL superstars came in last because they had a nightmarish experience in the airport. Those airport delays are a nightmare for me. I&#8217;m not a fancy person who travels all the time so I hate airports. I am a weirdo who thinks everyone is a terrorist and every plane is made out of Legos, so I&#8217;d be freaking out with all this air travel on this show. The NFL guys never even left Lisbon. The main mission in this eppy was either to put beautiful tiles together or do some math figuring out how many miles Magellan traveled around the globe. Haha Mr. Shelly would have picked math and I would have said &#8220;fuck that&#8221;. I can recite the lyrics of &#8220;Jump Around&#8221; as flawlessly as <em>House of Pain</em> but I don&#8217;t ever want or like doing math. there was some King Arthur action in this eppy which was cool. They put on Chain Mails that resembled shark suits (which I&#8217;m sure a shark underwater episode is coming) and you had to go to a castle. I love castles so this was entertaining to me. I&#8217;m starting to catch on a bit but I&#8217;m still usually cleaning up from dinner so I&#8217;m still 1/2 confused during these eppys.  Every team is starting to have nicknames. Afghanimals, Ice Queens, Pinky and the Brain (I use that one) and such . Ooops I think the Older gay men entertainers were last on the last eppy? Does it matter? We still have like 9+ teams.</p>
<p>Next episode  well now I&#8217;m going backwards. There was an episode before this that they had to mine salt and you got to see the fake tits float to the top. So Mr. Shelly got a 30 second thrill.</p>
<p>Lets work on last nights eppy so I can stay current.</p>
<p>The teams had to race to the Arctic Circle in Norway. Which is super cool because I have a few Norwegian friends who have told me of the &#8220;midnight sun&#8221; stories. I don&#8217;t think I could deal with bright ass sun at like 1 am. ER Docs and Jason and fake tits Amy seem to have joined forces to work against the others. The task at hand is to punch a hole through 10 fish heads on a stick then transport them to a far way allocation and hang them there. Apparently fish head soup is in high demand in Norway. I&#8217;d just eat my own arm instead. You can also scale a dried fish wall and pound the fish into 1kg of jerky. (Like hello metric system, maybe they&#8217;ll teach it here one day in &#8216;Murica). that option proved to be the longer of the two. Only the baseball wives and the sporty friends duo picked that option.</p>
<p>Pinky keeps pissing people off left and right because a) she&#8217;s entirely too old for that hair (I&#8217;ll keep repeating this)<strong> b</strong>) she is a mean bitch who annoys people. She keeps using her fast pass she has to &#8220;give as a tool to get people to do shit&#8221; Look, I use that strategy on my kids and about 2 hours into it, they call my bluff. It&#8217;s funny because they don&#8217;t realize they put their fish on the wrong pole and keep losing their lead.</p>
<p>The next challenge is backing up a Ford Pickup truck (nice blatant advertising) and move a boulder to reveal the last clue of this episode. The Ice girls don&#8217;t know how to drive manual transmission. Look ladies, my dad taught me that life skill at 18. he gave me 2 days before he sold my car. I had no choice. Its something EVERYONE should know how to do. The baseball wives are trailing the pack because they weigh about 65 pounds soaking wet and can only take so much fish meat at a time.  The teams are now racing to a Viking Lodge with Viking coins. OMG I hope Eric from True Blood is there naked waiting for me. Wait what? Mr. Shelly is asking me a question and wakes me from my daydream.  Anyway Pinky and her ex forget to get the clue of where they are going. They just grab they bag of coins and start aimlessly driving around Norway. That&#8217;s totally going to work.</p>
<p>Duck Dynasty friends are the first at the Checkpoint with Phil and the Viking Lodge. They are told to keep on racing. Fuck man, can&#8217;t you grab some Norwegian wine or grog or what the shit ever they drink? Pinky sees the ER docs who know where they are going and ask &#8220;where do we go&#8221;. As she should, the ER Doc wife said she wants the fast pass in exchange for telling them where to go. Pinky seems to think hesitating is a good idea. What is wrong with this bitch? ER Doc wife points out they don&#8217;t need her&#8230; <em>she NEEDS Them</em>. Mr. Shelly would have told her to kiss his ass, and I would have agreed,</p>
<p>The Amazing Race pulls out some fuckery and  does the &#8230;&#8230;&#8221; to be continued&#8221; bullshit. Of course I&#8217;ll be tuning in, but I hate when they dick tease you like that. I&#8217;m too old to be dick teased!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>8/10 stars only because of all the damn fish!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>~Shelly</p>
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		<title>The Walking Dead Season 4 premiere &#8220;30 Days Without An Accident&#8221; (I may poop my pants!)</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2013/10/16/walking-dead-season-4-premiere-30-days-without-accident-may-poop-pants/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Oct 2013 16:36:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TheWalkingDead]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://screensnark.com/?p=607</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>&#160; Okay Okay! This is what wets my whistle (insert whatever you would like to think my whistle is)! In addition to American Horror Story this show is pretty much what I look forward to. Yes look forward to, the busy mom of two who feels like an indentured servant at times is easily pleased&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2013/10/16/walking-dead-season-4-premiere-30-days-without-accident-may-poop-pants/">The Walking Dead Season 4 premiere &#8220;30 Days Without An Accident&#8221; (I may poop my pants!)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/walkingrick.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-630" alt="walkingrick" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/walkingrick.jpg" width="293" height="172" /></a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Okay Okay! This is what wets my whistle (insert whatever you would like to think my whistle is)! In addition to American Horror Story this show is pretty much what I look forward to. Yes look forward to, the busy mom of two who feels like an indentured servant at times is easily pleased with TV. I have to say I am obsessed with zombies, before zombies were the cool thing. I read Stephen King&#8217;s &#8220;The Stand&#8221; back in middle school (great job mom and dad) and although not a zombie novel it is an apocalyptic type story that changed my life forever, yes truly. One of my favorite parts of the novel was when survivors could &#8220;pick&#8221; their houses. yes yes the world had ended but I was mesmerized at the chance to start over even in middle school (Thats why I loved the idea of LOST too). But this ties into The Walking Dead. Characters like Daryl get to be completely different in this new walker world.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m a huge fan of this show, and just like a TRUE football fan;  I&#8217;m a true Walking Dead fan. I don&#8217;t get all pissy and moany when the show seems to be &#8220;slower&#8221; as I know the set ups of these episodes is just as important as the episode itself. yes there are parts I don&#8217;t love, but I love The Walking Dead in its entirety.</p>
<p>We pick up at camp Cell Block Six (which seriously get the fuck out there gang, its horrible), but the survivors have seem to make it &#8220;home&#8221; to them. You can tell some time has passed since the Governor&#8217;s <em>Full Metal Jacket </em>moment on last season. It&#8217;s hinted to then in your face when you see Carl rapidly growing and becoming an awkward Peter Brady teen before our very eyes. We see our group from last season little by little: Rick and Hershel becoming Mr and Mr Green thumb planting what seems to be a sustainable garden (which is an excellent idea because you can&#8217;t grow cheeseburgers). We see Daryl and Carol which WTF with their hair? Does Carol have some good cutting shears? Her hair doesn&#8217;t grow? And Daryl is waaaaaay to Rocker chic with his perfect &#8220;messy&#8221; hair. He immediately grosses me out as he licks all five of his dirt covered fingers and shakes a boy&#8217;s hand (whom is a new character). The boy is obviously smitten with Daryl because he doesn&#8217;t back up as I would and gladly shakes it. Tyrese and his sister who is  poor man&#8217;s Angela Bassett, Beth , Maggie, Glenn, and some survivors from Woodbury. And the baddest of the all: Michonne!!!!</p>
<p>Rick seems to not being seeing skinny ass Lori talking to him anymore, which is a good thing. By the way I am the world biggest dumb ass and I decided to paint my toe nails during this episode. Needless to say it looks like my girl Helen Keller painted my nails.</p>
<p>Anyway&#8230;&#8230;Shit goes down soon as a small group of the prison campers decide to go to BIG LOTS! Ha, it&#8217;s actually Big SPOT but its def supposed to be Big Lots. Which how amaze balls would that be? I could pick up a fuzzy penguin throw, some imported canned beets, your pick of Latin delicacies and a Ninja blender. The choices are limitless. I&#8217;d be living there and not at the prison. But apparently thew crew didn&#8217;t check out the roof because a Helicopter at some point has crashed. (By the way spoiler alert, but ya know what? People who come to TV sites hoping not to be spoiled seem silly to me). The Roof of Big Lots is obviously not strong enough to hold a helicopter. I have no way of knowing how long its been up there but it comes with at least 15-20 decomposing walkers.</p>
<p>A guy whom we don&#8217;t know yet is jonesin&#8217; for some booze pretty hard. he is eyeing up the wine and ends up making a big turbulent racket. This draws the walkers from the roof to the noise ( i think some viewers seem confused about this). They hear the noise and go towards it like Carol Anne does the light. The noise is centered where the Helicopter crashed and has compromised the roof. There are weak parts of the roof and the walkers start pouring in like seagull shit on a beach with some dumb ass fat kid throwing his McNuggets at them.</p>
<p>This of course causes pandemonium and the loss of life (but we don&#8217;t know this person yet so its cool). Meanwhile there is an episode long scene Rick has with a mousy zombie looking human lady he finds in the woods, that does bore and confuse me. Its pointing out several things. One of them being Rick was ..&lt;&#8212; that close to being as crazy as this chic is. She keeps mumbling &#8220;you can&#8217;t come back from the things I&#8217;ve done&#8221; or something like it. Here&#8217;s the deal she doesn&#8217;t know, you have to have done something terrible to still be alive. This is zombie/infected/virus/Apocalypse 101. You have to kill, hide, steal, lie, and worse to keep on keeping on; and that&#8217;s okay. You don&#8217;t need to beat yourself up for surviving.</p>
<p>There is an underlying illness going on in this episode that I haven&#8217;t wrapped my medical detective head around but I&#8217;ll give them leeway. Sick and dying pig at the beginning. Daryl licks his butthole fingers and shakes the kids hand. Now the Kid at the end of the episode is barfing and sputtering n the water supply and DIES. The kid we never got to know DIES! We see the last few seconds his eyes coming back as a walker. So this is for sure setting up for the next episode which I have a hunch will be full of way more action. I don&#8217;t see nearly enough of Michonne. Glenn and Maggie were only in their jail love nest momentarily (with a baby scare I might add) and speaking of babies&#8230; baby Judith was only in a blip too. I need to see more of the trails and tribulations of that baby. I need to see what they are doing with her diapers?! What the kid is eating. Does she have colicky crying fits in the middle of the night? I need to know this shit.</p>
<p>All in all a solid season opener with the foreshadowing of serious walker shit to come, oh and don&#8217;t forget my Liam Neeson look alike Governor is still on the lose (and with the Government Shutdown who knows what he&#8217;ll do!)</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>~Shelly</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>9 out of 10 stars</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2013/10/16/walking-dead-season-4-premiere-30-days-without-accident-may-poop-pants/">The Walking Dead Season 4 premiere &#8220;30 Days Without An Accident&#8221; (I may poop my pants!)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>American Horror Story: Coven &#8220;Bitchcraft&#8221;!</title>
		<link>http://screensnark.com/2013/10/12/american-horror-story-coven-bitchcraft/</link>
		<comments>http://screensnark.com/2013/10/12/american-horror-story-coven-bitchcraft/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Oct 2013 14:17:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Shelly]]></dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Reviews]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<p>&#160; OMG guys it&#8217;s here! I have been waiting for American Horror Story:Coven for what seems like forever. This is my jam! I love supernatural-ish shows done right. And creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk in my opinion do just that. The style of the whole show is right up my weirdo horror alley. This&#8230;</p><p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2013/10/12/american-horror-story-coven-bitchcraft/">American Horror Story: Coven &#8220;Bitchcraft&#8221;!</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/AHSCovenPoster.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-608" alt="AHSCovenPoster" src="http://screensnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/AHSCovenPoster-199x300.png" width="199" height="300" /></a></p>
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<p>OMG guys it&#8217;s here! I have been waiting for American Horror Story:Coven for what seems like forever. This is my jam! I love supernatural-ish shows done right. And creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk in my opinion do just that. The style of the whole show is right up my weirdo horror alley. This show is the third in an Anthology which to me is so awesome that you can pick this show up without having watched prior seasons.<br />
Some old favorites from seasons past pop up in different characters. Sarah Paulson, Lily Rabe, Frances Conroy, the enchanting Taissa Farmiga and the one and only bad ass Jessica mother fucking (yes that is her middle name) Lange! This season is all about witches. A brief history of witches is described at the beginning after Farmiga experiences an unpleasant romantic event. The witches from Salem have traveled down south to New Orleans which is rich in Cajun and voodoo history. We travel back in time to the 1830&#8242;s to see Kathy Bates (she is so awesome in this!) playing Ms. Delphine LaLaurie (I want that cool ass name!). She is a tyrant evil tortuous woman who is based on a real woman with a real history. Bates plays her perfectly as you expect her to. Her story is setting up her return of sorts for the entire season to come.<br />
Fast Forward to present day and we see Farmiga being sent to a &#8220;finishing school&#8221; for extraordinary girls: or A school for witches. It has been established to protect them to nurture their talents and to guide them. This is done in a non-hokey way, this could have easily been the theme for an ABC (not so) Family movie of the week, but Murphy and Falchuk would never allow that to happen, this isn&#8217;t Nap/Suck for shit&#8217;s sake.<br />
There Farmiga meets the headmistress (Paulson) and a few other girls who are seemingly like here. Gabourey Sidibe as &#8220;Queenie&#8221; whose &#8220;gift&#8221; seems to be she is a human voodoo doll. ( I only yelled &#8220;Precious!&#8221; twice while watching her scenes), Able to inflict pain while slapping her own face or stabbing herself with a fork. Emma Roberts as &#8220;Madison Montgomery&#8221; who has the talent of telekinesis and can throw an entire bus with the thought from her mind. She&#8217;s like a buck toothed Carrie (She&#8217;s the cast member I&#8217;m most annoyed with, she seems to overact but I&#8217;ll give her a chance). Rounding off the students at the private school for Witches is season 1 favorite Jamie Brewster as &#8220;Nan&#8221;, a clairvoyant girl who happens to be more insightful than in just one way.</p>
<p>Jessica Lang is a &#8220;supreme&#8221; witch who has all the powers of the world at he fingertips (except to be able to look young, which confuses me but I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;ll learn). She is the mother of Paulson&#8217;s character: Cordelia Foxx ( how awesome is it to have two &#8220;x&#8217;s&#8221; in your name??!) The show kicks off with twisted sexual trysts and horrific tortuous scenarios that delight my weirdo gross black soul. Now Murphy seems to have an obsession with Rape in every season, and that&#8217;s cool and all, but I&#8217;m hoping this will be the last of this after this episode.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t want to reveal the the inner workings of the episode because truly you have to delight and enjoy for yourself to &#8220;get it&#8221; and you very well may not ever get it. I get it, I want to keep getting it and I love the kick off to this season of American Horror Story!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>~Shelly</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>9.5/10 stars!</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com/2013/10/12/american-horror-story-coven-bitchcraft/">American Horror Story: Coven &#8220;Bitchcraft&#8221;!</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://screensnark.com">screensnark.</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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